ABT AUTHOR
Assortment of names: (Most used) Lenny ☆, (professional) Lendale Tailor ☆, (uncommon) Lennie, (Online games) Chopper.
☺ Fan art of characters is encouraged ☺(Tag #Nyuiok in description so I can see), do not claim characters as your own, (I LOVE fanart)
This paragraph is skippable Its me complaining about my life
Personal note (tl dr: mommy issues, tramua actually affects you?? :O ) :
I want to admit the emotional aspect that this website carries. It means so much more to me than just being a place to express my creativity.
I mentioned before 'Nyuiok' was made soley for oc's, stories, comics, and more, but as I understood myself more throughout the years I started thinking about this as my safespace and a 'get away' from everything.
I didnt realize it before, but the reality behind why I kept coming back to update and add drawings to my website is because this is the biggest source of copium. Id come back from school excited to teach myself to code html from a website I clicked on the first search result (i love u Html tutorial web).
TW: childhood traumatic events + notes during abuse
Im gonna start to get little vulnerable and uncomfortable. I dont have the best relationships with my family and especially to my mother. She's been the most verbally and sometimes physically abusive (more in the past) since I could remember. Some incidences I can remember: My mother once threw me down the flight of stairs to my basement when I was around 5-6 (very unsure but i was young), resulting in a bloody nose. I didn't cry but I was scared. I don't remember what lead up to her doing that but I was terrified of leaving the basement. It was cold down there but it was warmer than her because it felt safer staying down there than risking being seen by her again.
In this one I was still 5-6 but older than the last story. I was eating a go-gurt (the spongebob ones) with my brother, we each had one but both left the wrappers on the couch. She found the two wrappers and whipped me with a belt over pieces of trash we forgot to throw away. I guess in her offence she had told me over and over to throw my trash away before.
She'd always forced me to have hot-waxing services done to rip off my body hair to be "beautiful". it always started with me resisting and ended with me crying in pain.
many many many ultimatums (unnegotiable), and more things lost in my memory. I believe my repetitive complusion to document, draw, write, take notes, and euihbfai is to confirm what I went through was real. I have terrible memory blocks and (also result of substance) dissociation. Sometimes when id endure her verbal attacks I would be too out of it to cry wondering if my life was real and contimplating rules of society.
fter almost every stressful event that has happened to me I want to document it in some way but the mechinesim that I crawl to most is art. I draw and draw and even if it isnt displayed its been made. Anyways, I just wanted to get this confession out. If you had enough interest in my story to read it all, thanks for reading.
edit: eughh I get so tired of listening to myself holy shit. im not gonna proofread it so if theres grammer and spelling mistakes thats why. i spend too long thinking about my past why cant i just get over it already? when i think about it i just feel shitty like why couldnt i just defend myself or have a backbone? fuck.
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PLATFORMS
(I have no other accounts other than here. PLEASE DO NOT REUPLOAD ARTWORK AS YOUR OWN.)
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CREATION TOOLS
Includes Apps,tools,websites I've used to do what I do.
- ibis paint x (App)
- Kleki (Website)
- Roblox-Freedraw (App)
- Adobe Fresco (App)
- CapCut (App)
- Pixel art
MORE :)
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SEND FEEDBACK/QUESTIONS A googleform to tell me anything, questions will be answered and most likely displayed on this page shortly after (1-30 days, i forget to check.).
GOOGLE FORM LINK
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