Syukien

This isnt a good character im proud of
This character represents an obbsessive kind of love, symptoms of jealousy, anger, depression, possesiveness, avoidentcy, manics

What is he up to?

1/17/2025- My heart hurts really bad like compressions, I keep jittering and shaking.
2/2/2025- I dont feel real, nothing feels real. I can barely recognize what im doing.
2/3/2025- I feel like a tweaker
2/5/2025- got the shakes, i think today will be good
2/8/2025- i think im struggling with derealisarion or depersonalization whatever the fuck its called, I don't feel real and things seem louder than they really are. I can barely understand the things im doing and i forget most of the day and i keep eating when i dont feel hungry at all until my stomach hurts i can barely compreheand whats hapoening anymore i dont want to do anything and everything i dont know what to to now but let it passp. This isnt recent its been happening since december
3/6/2025 i am tweaking and i feel really tired, just really bad i dont feel good its like im gonna barf
8/21/2025 I dont believe in rehabilitation, If i dont want to i wont until I find some reason
10/--/2025 I dont feel like i can love someone properly without causing some kind of problems.
11/--/2025 Sometimes it feels better to hurt people so i dont have to discover myself it feels good to stay in the comfort of my isolation and avoidance
12/18/2025 I want to be worse and damn it feels sufficating when I cant, its like loosing all responibility caring about yourself is just so reliefing.
I think i should watch more movies, people are too bothersome to learn from and movies teach real lessons.
5/30/2026 I'm too attached to people that don't exist in my life anymore. I want to fix relationships and the thought of loosing a friend is enough to make me cry. I know that they aren't going to die if they aren't actively in my life, but I miss them. I miss them so much. I don't want anyone to leave anymore. I want everyone to be there, I try so hard to be there for them. Is it entitled to want them to stay with me forever in exchange for my loyalty?
6/2/2026 i really miss him. I say I miss you constantly but how often do actually I mean it? I know you have trouble sleeping so your probably laying in bed awake as I type.
I fucking hate being so sad all the time. Its been so long, I hate fucking existing. Everyday im so sick of having to perform for everyone and myself; Im not happy. I hate living, I hate having to do anything I don’t like, and i hate how it’s impossible to find anything I DO like. I make myself feel so bad just so I can feel SOMETHING and its horrible.

note to self; its your own god damn website

Information

Name: Syukien
Gender: regard me as whatever u want i dont want a label and everythings feels icky
Height: 5'7 -5'9
Artists: Overtonight, Friedbyfluoride, WifiSkeleton, Crayon
Animal rencarnation: id wanna be those fat seals on the beach who are effortlessly loved just for existing
pastimes: sleeping, moping, eating, social media, spacing out for hours at a time, grieving the past (even if it was worse), feeling bad for yourself, ignoring people, distancing, occasional manics, relapsing, disapointing people, ...

My favorite bodily functions are throwing up (the instant relief), feeling embarrasment (intense feelings), laughing hard, and sneezing.
My least favorite bodily functions are smling(its such a process), stomach aches(owww), racing heart (It feels like im about to die), and coughing.

outfit gallery- (descriptions to draw out later) Main- "I dont care anymore" Formal Outside Outside 2 Christmas- A warm knit sweater (very simular to his long-sleeve shirt) with a christmas tree in the middle, thin pajama pants, and slide on sandals. i always end up feeling cold

no other information found.

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